Addressing A number of the Conspiracies Concerning My (Hillary Clinton’s) Health

Hillary Clinton’s campaign, responding to huge political stress after she needed to be helped into a van on Sunday—and after waiting hours before explaining that she had become affected by pneumonia—stated Monday that it might launch greater clinical records approximately her this week. —The Times.

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Tightness in Chest

Again whilst it first has become clear that Bernie Sanders might be a extreme contender in the Democratic primaries, I began to sense a tightness in my chest. In the beginning, I thought it became the most effective heartburn; however, now I suppose it’s stress. Now not that I felt mentally or emotionally burdened—I thrived on the respectful discourse that Senator Sanders incited, and I used to be so inspired to see what number of younger human beings he energized. However, then Donald Trump became a Presidential candidate, and that I think my body just internalized a lot of stuff.

Intake

At one checkup, my docs considered the possibility that I was stricken by Intake or a few other Victorian fevers. Still, then they realized my stylist had overdone it with the blush for a Television look.

Choking on a Pretzel

I am humiliated to mention that I choked on a pretzel from giggling so tough once I heard President George W. Bush had choked on a pretzel. I now understand that it wasn’t that funny.

Double Vision

It’s far widely recognized that in overdue 2012 and early 2013, after fainting and sustaining a concussion, I in brief suffered from double vision. I idea that possibly my double Vision had earlier this month again, but then I found out that I was looking at a picture of Donald Trump after a shriveled, lint-blanketed marshmallow circus peanut.

Minor “Stroke”

I had a minor stroke once I decided to apply for a non-public 1ec5f5ec77c51a968271b2ca9862907d server when I used to be Secretary of State! No longer, actually—I am making a bit joke. Strokes are a extreme Health issue, and I have by no means had one. Speakme of jokes: the bowled over face I made at a campaign stop earlier this yr, which a few bloggers have speculated become me having a seizure, is just a chunk I do with Invoice each time he offers to take out the trash. The conceit of this bit is that I am so surprised that Bill is offering to assist that it shocks my gadget into complete neurological disintegrate.

Polio

Franklin Delano Roosevelt became one of our greatest Presidents, and I am very proud to mention that, like him, I battled polio. Polio is preventable By way of vaccine, but unfortunately, there’s no therapy. However, through sheer tenacity, the pressure of will, and smart negotiating abilities, I managed to cure myself of polio. I promise to apply those equal strategies to defeating ISIS and disposing of earnings inequality.

Explorer. Beer trailblazer. Zombie expert. Internet lover. Unapologetic introvert. Alcohol fanatic. Tv ninja.Once had a dream of buying and selling sauerkraut in Ohio. Practiced in the art of building crickets in Nigeria. Gifted in donating wooden tops in Fort Walton Beach, FL. Spent 2001-2007 testing the market for corncob pipes for no pay. A real dynamo when it comes to managing catfish in Jacksonville, FL. Spent a year investing in yard waste for farmers.

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